As Roger Taylor of Queen once wrote ( I think for the 1991 album 'Innuendo') "these are the days of our lives."

And what a day it was, because for those of us retirees out in here rural France, what can be better than playing golf on a good course against friendly competition with good camaraderie and an enjoyable lunch. That's what we had today in the return match between the Musketeers and the Barbarians.

Firstly a big 'thank you' to Gérard Bouchet and Martyn Hayward for their sterling efforts in organising both matches. Clearly the two-way fixture has been such a success that we will make it an annual feature in the Barbet & Musketeers calendar.

When we played at Barbet we experienced an interesting course with quite slow greens. The Musketeers were beaten 11.5 to 6.5, but we said at the prize presentations over lunch that we looked forward to the match at Pallanne where the greens would be much quicker. They were. Time and time again we saw the Barbarians putt their balls off the green. It was a joy to behold for those of us that had left our downhill putts short of the hole at Barbet!

We were lucky with the weather. When we arrived at 8.00am the sun was just teasing mist from the lakes and the course had an early autumn feel to it. The green-keepers had been out early cutting the greens and fairways and raking the bunkers. The course was in great condition. We started with coffee and madeleines and then had a photograph taken in front of the château. The briefing confirmed that there were 18 matches played as four balls on a shotgun start from tees 1 — 9.

In the order of play the results were:

Greg Conley WON
Reg Hole WON
Keith Ridding LOST
Fergus O'Neill WON
Mike Rawlings WON
Phil Faiers LOST
Richard Law HALVED
Ian Kennedy WON
Roger Barton WON
Gérard Bouchet LOST
David Smith WON
Robin Lee LOST
Tony Coakley HALVED
Richard Gibson WON
Mike Matthews LOST
Rob Jones WON
Nick Trantom WON
John Williams WON

Bearing in mind we were five points behind going in to this return match things could not have been closer. In a Ryder Cup-esque performance the Musketeers managed to finish on 18.5 points to the Barbarians 17.5 points so the inaugural inter-club trophy (kindly donated by Martyn Hayward) was presented to the Musketeers.

The drinks at the bar and over lunch softened the disappointment for those that lost their matches, and by the end of the meal everyone was looking forward to meeting up again next year. As several of the Barbarians said, "Bring it on!".

N-n-n-nineteen. . . the number of Musketeers that played at Bagnères-de-Bigorre in the 2013 version of our annual President's Decanter. This year the competition was sponsored and organised by Roger Barton who had celebrated a senior birthday just a couple of days before (everyone sang "Happy Birthday" over lunch).

We all arrived for a 9.00 tee-off from five different tees in a shotgun start. The competition was an individual Stableford off full handicaps, played from the yellow tees. But in a break with tradition there was no longest drive and no nearest the pin. Instead, Roger chose to present prizes for the Best Score on Par 3s, Best Score on Par 5s, Fewest Putts, Best Front Nine and Best Back Nine. It meant a heavy workload for the scorers, but also meant more prizes — especially as Roger decided on a "one prize per person' rule.

Normally, Bagnères is one of the most spectacularly located courses in France and part of the joy of playing there are the magnificent views of the Pyrenean backdrop. However, we might as well have been playing in Huddersfield as the entire course was in the clouds, it was hard enough to see the greens, let alone the mountains. However, one of the other joys of Bagnères is the wonderful food that we have enjoyed over the years. We were not disappointed — the 3-course lunch, service and carafe wine were all of top quality.

Undeterred by the poor weather the Musketeers attacked the course with vigour and some excellent results came in. Firstly Greg Conley put up a valiant defence of the title he won at last year's event held at Eauze where he parred the course. This year he played to two over par in the exacting conditions and scored 38 points."We have a winner," thought the scorers. And nobody had won back-to-back decanters before. But there was an even better result lurking in the yet-to-be-checked cards. 

But before revealing the winner, there were other prizes up for grabs. A magnificent performance with the putter meant the prize for fewest putts went to Fergus O'Neill. He came in with a Musketeers record of a mere 23 putts. We can't see that ever being beaten. 

The best score on the Par 3s went to Richard Gibson whilst the best score on the Par 5s went to the sponsor, Roger. The best Front Nine was won by Charles Prendergast and the Best Back Nine was won by Reg Hole. And with Greg Conley taking the second place prize of a splendid bottle of Pellehaut red wine (which he promptly opened and shared) it only remains to reveal the winner of the Decanter. . .

Seldom have the Musketeers been witness to such a great performance. Not only was the winner playing Bagnères for the first time, not only was he playing with a bunch of old farts, but he was also playing alongside the pipe-smoking Richard Gibson who was adding to the fog making visibility near impossible. Yes, the winner was the youngest Musketeer of them all, Dominic Slaven. And he didn't just beat everyone else, he slaughtered them! Off his handicap of 26 he managed to go round in gross 84 — that's 12 over par. He scored a magnificent 50 points and as he received the President's Decanter for his sterling efforts he was loudly applauded by an enthusiastic and appreciative medley of Musketeers. Well done Dominic!

The tradition of the Decanter is that the winner returns it the following year full. This year Greg returned it full of a 2006 St.Mont red which was passed around the lunch table and disappeared very quickly. There were pleas to Dominic that despite him not being old enough to drink alcohol yet, that it would be returned filled with wine and not Coca Cola.

In his normally cool manner Dominic just smiled. I'm not sure he will be smiling when he realises his Musketeers handicap has been cut by 8.4 shots (another Musketeers record) to 17.6 — but knowing Dominic, he's probably laughing.

Friday 16th was a hot one at Pallanne, not only the 30° temperature, but there were some hot scores too as players successfully negotiated their way down the avenues of fairway between the jungle-like rough. Roger will be emailing the Eclectic improvements later today. The course was in good condition, but one or two greens were sun burnt. Once again at this time of year when the greens are running really fast, there were some near impossible pin positions — particularly 7, 8, 9 and 17. And the 16th is always very difficult as there is no flat part to the green — such a pity it wasn't given some flat spots when it was relaid a couple of years ago.

During the post game banter someone asked "how do you calculate the Musketeers handicaps?" I said I would post something on the website, so here goes:

We use a slightly modified version of the system used by CONGU (the Confedaration of Golf Unions).
We categorise golfers into three groups:

Category One — 12 handicap and below
Category Two — Handicap between 13 and 24
Category Three — Handicaps above 24

We allow a buffer zone for each category if they don't quite play to handicap, so in Category One if they play two shots worse than handicap there is no change. If they are three shots or more worse than handicap their handicap is increased by 0.1 of a shot.

In Category Two the buffer zone is three shots, so if they play four shots or more worse than handicap their handicap is increased by 0.2 of a shot.

In Category Three the buffer zone is 4 shots, so if they play five shots or more worse than handicap their increase is 0.3 of a shot.

Reductions are much more drastic though. In any competition players handicaps are reduced every time they play better than their handicap. For handicap purposes a player can only be a maximum of two shots over par on any one hole. 
For each shot better the cuts are as follow:

Category One minus 0.2
Category Two minus 0.4
Category Three minus 0.6

Current handicaps are shown on this website.

As well as Musketeers competitions handicaps can be cut as a result of good play in other events, or just on observation.
Peter Giles and Yours Truly were cut in Pallanne competitions recently and this has been reflected in reductions to their Musketeer handicaps.

Also, David Smith had an excellent round today and submitted his card for a handicap reduction. We applaud this attitude towards handicaps as being in the true spirit of golf. He received a 1.2 cut and now plays off 16.

The Musketeers fixture list shows that Friday September 20th is scheduled as a Fun Day. Here's what will be involved. . .
The competition will be a three-club contest. Players may only have three clubs in their bag. Sounds obvious, but sometimes you just need to spell these things out. You choose which three clubs. But to add a further dimension, each player will be given a length of string equal in feet to his handicap. So, if your handicap is 18 you will receive 18 feet of string. 

The string is used to move the ball. For example, if after three shots your ball ends up 6 inches from the hole, you can cut 6 inches of string from your supply to move the ball into the hole, thereby scoring a 3. Another example might be if your ball ends up behind a tree, you could use a length of string to move the ball into a playable position.

Available string can be used at any time to move the ball. Each player needs to carry a pair of scissors, or a knife, to cut the string. Use your string wisely, strategically and tactically. 

The competition will be Stableford format off full handicap and despite only having three clubs we should expect some impressive scores.

Mark the date firmly in your diaries.

Three Musketeers (hmmm. . . sounds like something from Alexander Dumbass) teed off from the 10th in the August Medal. And yes, they did have Monique's permission. But on the way to the tee they met a lady, lost, lonely and forlorn with nobody to play with. It was Lucy, Reg Hole's wife. 

Pallanne  had been beaten by brutal heat for more than a week and the forecast was for temperatures of around 38° so many of the Musketeers taking part in the August Medal yesterday (2nd August) teed off at 7.45am.

The greens were much slicker than last week at Barbet, but some of the pin positions were as tricky as Augusta National — the 9th, 14th and 17th were almost impossible from some points on the green.

Coupled with jungle-like rough on many parts of the course the challenge was too much for many of the brave Musketeers, so there was a record number of non-returns (See the Results Page).

However, two very fine performances were put in by stalwarts of the Musketeers Golf Society. Keith Ridding had a gross 78, giving him a net 69. This earned him a handicap cut of 0.6 to a new low of 7.9. Many congratulations to Keith, but his efforts were eclipsed by another of our stalwarts, Gérard Bouchet. Our clever caveist grossed 93, and with a handicap of 24.5 his net score was 68, beating Keith by one shot. So Gérard wins the August Medal and with that honour comes a swingeing handicap cut of 3.6 bringing him down to 20.9. Many congratulations Gérard.